FastPaced Love
by ali-lou
Summary: This is for a parody challenge, it's just a very short piece about Draco, Harry and their extremely sudden love! This is a parody...


Okay, I'm really sorry about this! I wrote it in about 45 minutes before a class...

This is for the Parody challenge at The Alliance, it's very short and I haven't really checked over the spelling and grammar but I hope someone still likes it!

**Fast-Paced Love**

"Detention, Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter" McGonagall's voice pierced the ears of the entire classroom in an ominous way. Harry and Draco both let out huge sighs but neither argued, already resigned to their romantic fate. After dinner the pair were assigned to polishing trophies and Harry and Draco worked remarkably well together in their team effort to clean the trophy room.

"You aren't actually so bad" Harry smiled

"Wait, what? I haven't said anything, you have to wait until we have **one** meaningful conversation and realise we aren't so different after all first" Draco rolled his eyes at Harry's amateurish approach to falling in love on detention

"I just thought that since it's well known that two enemies can't suffer through detention together without falling deeply in love that I should get to the point so we can spend a lifetime of happiness together, if you want we can start again" Harry asked tentatively, upset that he had disappointed the Slytherin sex god himself.

"Good, this time we do things right Potter, I'll tell you about how I don't want to be a part of this war but I'm drawn into it because of who I am, you will then express the same sentiment" Draco spoke slowly as if speaking to a child "then we will share a moment filled with sexual tension before Mcgonogall arrives to check on our progress and we break apart, after she leaves we will discuss our other common interests such as Quidditch, having 6 lettered surnames, only two friends and abusive family situations...Have you got that?" Draco raised a questioning eyebrow to punctuate his sentence. Harry responded by tearing his clothes off and attaching his lips to Draco's face.

It was one week later when Ron stumbled across Draco and Harry making out in a not-so-abandoned corridoor and responded by becoming so angry his head literally exploded which disappointed Harry greatly because he no longer had in common with Draco the fact that both of them had two friends, one week after that Harry's remaining friend discovered their dirty little secret...

"What" Hermione let out a shriek of surprise when she literally stumbled onto Harry and Draco.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Draco sneered, his look of disdain having somewhat of a lessened effect coming from underneath Harry "This is my private head boy chambers, **mine**"

"I'm the head girl, it's mine too" Hermione said defensively as she stared pointedly at a seemingly uninteresting point on the wall

"Wait, why are you dressed so seductively?" Harry questioned his friend

"It's just, I mean I thought...Well, to be honest I thought Draco and I would pursue a dangerous affair now that we are Head Girl and Boy and share a common room"

"No way, just go because Draco is all mine" Harry pouted to emphasise his point

"That's okay, I don't really mind, sorry for interrupting" Hermione's words had no chance to placate Harry who was busy sticking his fingers in his ears and yelling "Not listening, Draco's mine and I'm not listening la la la di daaaaaa"

Harry and Draco, who were now potions partners were summoned halfway through class to Proffessor Dumbledore's office. Draco handed in their half complete 'eternalus love potion' as well as their other assignment a 'seeing-the-world-from-each-others-point-of-view potion' before loitering by the desk for a few minutes

"Draco, I mean Malfoy, wait, no Draco...Shit, are we meant to be pretending to hate each other or not?" Harry whispered the last part fiercly

"Yes, I thought that part was self-explanatory but apparently it's not you idiot...darling" Draco muttered "What were you going to say in the first place"

"Well, we've been summoned to the principal's office, why are you hanging around our potions"

"I thought that bumbling dumbass Neville was supposed to come over and spill our potions onto us" Draco looked around perplexedly "It's something that seems to happen to anyone who falls in love with me, that is after all how I got together with Hermione, Ginny and I think even Ron once" Draco frowned again before he checked his watch

"I don't even have the time to be outraged by what a whore you are, Drakie. I won't let down Dumbledore" Harry screamed the last part valiantly as he exited the room, wand arm high in the air.

As Harry and Draco left the classroom they saw Crabbe or Goyle lumbering down the hallway

"I'm Neville's stumbling replacement, I'm not to late am I?" Crabbe or Goyle asked

"Damn straight you're too late" Draco yelled

"Hey, you're a poet and you didn't even know it" smiled Harry

"You knew it, I read you that dirty poem I wrote about you just last night remember" Draco looked hurt, Harry looked nostalgic, Crabbe or Goyle looked confused.

"Get lost Crabbe, Goyle, whoever you are" Draco yelled viciously "I am so mad at you, I really enjoy that spilt potion storyline"

After three trips to suspiciously empty classrooms the ruffled pair finally arrived at Dumbledore's office and were surprised to find Lucius Malfoy sitting with Albus Dumbledore at his desk. Harry, Draco, Lucius and Albus made polite yet boring conversation for a while before cutting to the chase.

"Draco, your father is here because he has some news for you" Dumbledore nodded wisely as he spoke

"You are a veela and Potter is your mate." there was a few moments of silence before Draco's voice echoed out over the room...

"SCORE!"

"I do have something else to tell you, you have an arranged gay marriage with Harry Potter" Lucius stated carefully

"But, he's my veela mate anyway, that's irrelevant...complete overdetermination!" Draco looked confused (as he often does in this story...rightfully so)

"Yes, but I thought you might want to know" Lucius said before standing up, turning around and then whipping back to smack Draco on the head with his pimp cane.

"You vile, evil boy, you have betrayed the Malfoy name by being in love with Harry Potter who is the enemy of my beloved dark lord" Lucius screamed, his pale skin turning beet red with fury. Draco looked too confused to function so his mate stepped in;

"Mr Malfoy, didn't you just say there was an arranged marriage between Draco and I, you weren't angry about that"

"Yeah, I know" the elder Malfoy replied with a shrug "I just thought I'd throw some rage in there for good measure, I abused Draco when he was young you know" Lucius then proceeded to turn and leave the story...I mean, room.

"The reason I had to be there for all this, aside from the fact that I am of course omnipresent is that I will be making this easier on you by moving you into the same common room and changing your timetables so you take all the same classes" Dumbledore said knowingly "I have also designated the astronomy towers for you two to go to every night to practice together, I believe you have special joint powers which, when used together, could defeat Voldemort"

Harry and Draco retired to their chambers, excited at the multitude of promising places their storyline could head tomorrow, also excited for the hot sex they were bound to soon be having...

The End

Thanks for reading, review if you want. I don't **love** this myself but I'd still appreciate it if I didn't get any unnecessary flames, criticism is fine if you think it'll help :)


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